Living in the Pacific NW

How do you know that you are living in the Pacific NW? First off, let’s hope you remember growing up here or moving here. So much for rhetorical questions. 🙂

Forget finding your orientation in the woods by looking for moss growing on the north side of anything. Moss will cover everything in its path, much like the 60’s movie “The Blob”. Secondly, you can construct an entire new fir tree from the branches that smacked onto your roof all night long during last night’s storm.

Is there a good recipe for moss soup??

Is there a good recipe for moss soup??

This is only 1/3 of what I lugged and there is MUCH left in the yard. BIG picture for FULL effect :)

This is only 1/3 of what I lugged and there is MUCH left in the yard. BIG picture for FULL effect 🙂

 

Fifty Shades

I’m pretty sure that Oregon invented the original “50 shades of gray” before it became a popular book – which I have not read. Let’s review the highlights of how you know you live in the NW.

1) Standard issue gray – if you cannot afford gray, one will be assigned to you

2) Light gray

3) Medium gray

4) Dark gray

5) Ueber gray

6) Off gray

7) I want to off myself gray

8) I can’t find my gray mittens kind of gray

9) Merlot for breakfast gray

10) This is not an all gray suit I’m wearing, it’s my cloaking device

11) I tripped over my gray pony because I didn’t see him kind of gray

12) Gray with a hint of arctic blast chill

13) Gray with a touch of “soaked to my marrow” moisture 

14) Gray with a super-powered fog horn

15) Gray with fluffy snow-like stuff which turns ordinary people into crazy ass drivers

16) ‘Who put my zebra in a blender?’ kind of gray

17) Oh goody, it’s gray again!!

18) Does this gray make me look fat?

19) Graypes of Wrath

20) Oregon – it’s a GRAYTE state