Trying to accept with grace and poise
Despite the racket of my mental noise
Friends are working long hours, they say
And wouldn’t they love to have my kind of day?
But I just turned down my last terping* request
Pain prevents me, I gave it my best
Can’t keep wallowing in what was “taken” from me
Can’t live in limbo as to what will be
Acceptance is daily
Neither welcomed nor easy
The past is over
The “now” is up to me
But f* the platitudes
I wail when I must
This too shall pass
Onwards or bust
(Terping – an affectionate, at least to me, slang word for being an American Sign Language interpreter. I was relatively kick-ass good at it for 11 years until 2 car accidents and 2 spinal surgeries knocked me out of the field for good. Have been trying to reinvent myself for the last 4 years. Do I feel left out when friends tell me how hard they are working and I wish I could? Sure. But I just have to keep the faith that good is on the way.