I attended a Bikram Yoga class tonight for the first time in over a YEAR. The blaring heat, my being horribly out of shape and my vertigo weren’t as bad as I had anticipated (not that they were a picnic). My bum ear, however, was a different story.
I could have sworn that the teacher said, “Raise your arms over your heads, blah blah blah and…carmelized onions!” “Alrighty then, I will do my best.”
*Falls into carmelized-onions-atop-a-burger posture*
Barely three weeks out of surgery, I’m told by a Dr. that I may have Meniere’s Disease, which I am affectionately calling Men’s Ears Disease. The characteristics are vertigo, tinnitus and hearing loss on one side; none of which are typically favored by musicians. And a feeling of fullness, as if my ear ate a Big Mac when it meant to have a small snack.
There’s a chance that it couldn’t be that at all but I’m not buyin’ it. The Ear-Plugging-Fairy has been a bit too exuberant for 6 months straight now. The tinnitus isn’t as bad as I had feared it would be. It’s as if a large sea shell is covering that ear at all times or as if I had just come home from having listened to a REALLY loud rock band, without all the screaming drunks. I have a noticeable light-headedness without it being full-fledged vertigo (yet). I will take almost anything over vertigo. And the hearing loss, if I can keep the humor about it, leads to some fascinating interpretations of what I *think* people just said. Ironically, loud noises are quite bothersome and distorted.
So in the bewilderment of getting hit with YET another thing, I can proudly say – I’m still standing (unless I’m wobbling)! I still have a pulse! And I’m not making this stuff up! I would fabricate a MUCH more glamorous life than this, for sure. And if I wanted attention, I would run down the street naked. Screaming. With sparklers.
My ear is ringing – I’d better go answer it.
If you’re going to feel yucko, get a tutu and do it in style!!!
Late breaking update: I put my Pooh Bear-like, fluff brain to good use this morning and thought a deep thought. I’ve actually had these symptoms for a long time but they just now flared (after surgery) with the addition of the tinnitus. So, there’s nothing new and no need to have gotten my knickers in a knot. It’s just Poopy Symptoms Two Dot Oh. I remember a client of mine, years ago, offering me his hearing aids while I was interpreting. Oy. Men’s Ears Disease – balance and hearing are for sissies!!