A New Skill

As someone who is notorious for countless ideas and novelty, I have finally started to practice a skill which has laid dormant since HS – consistency! For the last 2 weeks – ok, not long, I know, but it’s a start – I have consistently gone to yoga 3X a week, the gym 3X a week, practiced the harp, pursued my crafts (I really want to have an Etsy business) and gotten chores done.

It’s also now the 4 year anniversary of my 2 spinal surgeries. They happened 6 weeks apart. It took some kind of consistency (well, persistence actually) to get through the rehab, healing and more bad stuff that was piled on top. If not a consistent physical practice at least a mostly consistent spirit of, “I shall endure. I shall not give up”. That says a lot because for a period of time – I really wanted out. Not suicide exactly, but just OUT of the constant pain and bad stuff. Anyone reading this who needs encouragement, contact me. I’ll never fully know your experience but I bet our paths have some striking commonalities.

I would never have believed at the time that there IS a shore on the other side of wading through endless…dung. My life is good and happy. And I’ve given up the thought that I’m too old for things. I took up interpreting school at 36, snowboarding at 40, the harp and my first hostel stay at 53.  I’m weeding out what doesn’t work and keeping those friends and activities that are positive, supportive and present. Hoorah. Bring it on – consistently please 🙂

PS – I know many of my posts mention the “bad years” and how things are much better now. I don’t want it to be a constant referencing of the past but like a grief process, there are no sharp boundaries between states of being. There are: worse, better, the new normal, the former normal, the hope for continued improvement, etc. The only constant in life is change.

 

I asked for the smiley. Gotta have fun before getting sliced!

I asked for the smiley. Gotta have fun before getting sliced (2008)!

The morning after the 1st surgery. 10/2010. Hair got chopped because I didn't think I'd be able to wash it for quite a while.

The morning after the 1st spinal surgery. 10/2010. Hair got chopped because I didn’t think I’d be able to wash it for quite a while.

 

OY! A few hours after the 2nd surgery. 12/2010. Should have just shaved my head.

OY! A few hours after the 2nd surgery. 12/2010. Should have just shaved my head.

 

Flea collar court is now in session

Flea collar court is now in session

 

Let's just yank out some suspicious tonsils, shall we?

Let’s just yank out some suspicious tonsils, shall we? Or maybe this was the cantaloupe-sized abdominal tumor surgery. I lose track.

ENOUGH OF THAT. DONE!

PDX Half Marathon - 2014 - with the way oversized team shirt I got at the 11th hour.

PDX Half Marathon – 2014 – with the way oversized team shirt I got at the 11th hour.

 

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Zippity Do Dah

What else does one call a post when one has not posted in so long?

I have been snowed under with countless things since the end of March. I knew that at some point, I would miss those long, lonesome days of just sitting on the couch (not missing the chronic pain and vertigo), just crocheting and watching the mailman make his rounds. I have drawn all kinds of opportunities to myself but some “opps” were not altogether fun – there was an outpatient surgical procedure that had me on Vicodin for a week. I now declare that there is nothing left on me to cut, burn, poke, biopsy or stitch! The husband unit was carted off to the ER with a kidney stone. BUT…

….drum roll… there was a ton of good stuff. For the first time in *years*, I am feeling sheer excitement again. I went back to Bikram yoga last night for the first time in well over a year. Who knew that having had a cantaloupe sized fibroid tumor removed last year would make such a difference in postures and balance? I’m training for a half marathon that I’m doing as a fundraiser for the Children’s Cancer Association. I’m hosting many house concerts and music jams. I’ve started an online school program to become a therapeutic musician. (That is someone who plays one on one, bedside, for patients who are facing surgery or are in Hospice. I calm them through music! It’s a new field and I hope to blaze a trail and be employed again for the first time in ages!!). I started playing the harp and love it way more than I thought I would (along with way too many other instruments).

Just one good thing after another. Life is grand. Never thought I’d make that statement after having been virtually suicidal – or at the very least, almost completely hopeless – not all that long ago. HOORAH!

Happy Dance

I volunteer interpreted tonight for the first time since Thanksgiving. Before that gig, it had been over 3.5 years since I last interpreted due to injuries, surgeries and general life poopiness that consumed me. (Consumed by poop? Ewwww)

Something magical happened tonight. I WAS NEEDED!! I had a schedule. I had a purpose. There were people around me. I used a skill that required a lot of hard work over many years to acquire. I used my brain. I, hopefully, made a difference.

While I love crocheting and practicing musical instruments, I’m a PEOPLE PERSON. I don’t do well hanging out at home, mostly alone, even if it means pursuing fun stuff. 

For many reasons, I can’t go back to interpreting – not much of it, anyway, and not paid, at the moment. I do occasionally play music at the hospitals and I am starting to host house concerts soon. But alas – just putting the intention out there that I really want to be doing something meaningful, with and for people, that works with my occasional bouts of pain and fatigue. C’mon Universe – I’ve been wilting away at home long enough and the traditional employment routes are a no-go. Remaining hopeful….open to guidance…

Go THIS way!

Go THIS way!