The obvious question that many folks want answered is, “How the heck do you walk around with a grapefruit-sized tumor and not notice that?” 

1) Because of the trauma and stress from the last few years, I’m a bit plumper than I’ve ever been. And because I am tall, I can hide a virtual cantaloupe under my sweaters and mostly get by with it. If you are ever inclined to steal large fruit or silverware, call me. I’m your get-away-with-it gal.

2) I’ve had plenty symptoms of pain, fatigue and digestive issues over the years. I never thought to ask, “I wonder if there is a large tumor growing in my pelvis which would cause these symptoms I’ve been having all along anyway?”

3) No one knows how fast this little alien has been growing. But I do know that it hit a critical mass that sent me to the ER on Sunday. Last week, I took LONG walks on the beach and was fine except for the usual, inconsistent gut issues. Now the pain is ever-present and non-ignoreable.

The nice thing about being married to an engineer is that, upon request, he built me a 3D paper model of the 7″ x 5″ x 4″ beastie. Isn’t that sweeeeet? 🙂

There ya have it. Off to specialists tomorrow and Friday and very likely a close encounter with scalpels the following week.

So in good Hollywood speak, “Does this tumor make me look fat cuz I feel like I swallowed a guinea pig”.